


On Our Way to Weightless

by akissontitan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Awkward First Times, Blowjobs, Coming Out, First Dates, First Time, Fluff, LDR, LOTS of consent SO much consent, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Modern AU, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Very Inconvenient Menstrual Cycles, aromantic Mikasa, eren is a gorgeous demisexual babby, femme eren is my Kid, gender feels, no one is cis and the points dont matter, this has an overarching plot but honestly its just a series of one-shots, trans girl armin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-11-21
Packaged: 2018-02-15 09:40:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2224290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akissontitan/pseuds/akissontitan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren and Jean are long distance lovers; Eren an Indigenous Australian surfer boy living on the Gold Coast with his family, and Jean a half-German-half-Maori trans kid from rural New Zealand. Contained within are five short stories of their time spent together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Kisses and Single Mattresses

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there, welcome to what is probably the longest fic I'll ever write!! (and it'll probably barely hit 10k.....isn't that sad....)
> 
> This fic picks up when the kids first meet irl, so there's not a lot of getting-to-know-you, I'm afraid! But for everyone's reference, Jean is 19 and Eren is 18. The program I used to simulate their online conversations is Chatzy, which I'm pretty sure is most commonly used for roleplayers, so hey, feel free to make up your own wacky backstory about how they bonded over rp'ing Karkat Vantas and Goku smut. Stories belong to their readers, as that one pretentious asswipe says.
> 
> My blog is [nicnevan](http://nicnevan.tumblr.com) (previously akissontitan) and I'm tracking/posting updates in the tumblr tag "fic: on our way to weightless". Fic title, like most good things in my life, is from [an SJ Tucker song](http://music.sjtucker.com/track/weightless).

As far as first kisses go, Jean's first kiss with Eren was probably one of the worst. They were both crying, for one thing, and Eren couldn't stop jumping on the spot long enough for their lips to properly meet. Still, Jean can't help but grin as he weaves his fingers between his boyfriend's for the first time in the middle of the bustling Gold Coast airport. 

"Hey there." 

"Wow Jean, your accent is even worse i-r-l than over skype calls!" 

"I've said like two words, asshole!" 

"Ooh yeah. Shitty kiwi boy accent confirmed." Eren _giggles_ , and Jean can tell that he's nervous, because he's hardly heard that giggle since the first time they video called over skype, making small-talk about their surroundings and they way each other looked on cam. 

Jean rolls his eyes and reaches up a tentative, still-shaking hand, carding it through Eren's shaggy hair and down to the dark brown skin of his neck. Eren leans forward and they rest their foreheads together for a moment, before Jean closes the distance between their lips and kisses him again. 

Eren tastes like salt and petrol station coffee, and his lips are chapped and still shaking with nervous energy. Jean doesn't worry. They have two whole weeks to get it right. 

\-- 

Much like that first skype call, Eren chatters away happily as they make their way through the airport to the luggage belt, bolt to the car park in the rain, and finally begin the drive towards Eren's home. Jean listens to as much as he can keep up with (something about dropping bears...?), but mostly he just looks. He looks at the boy beside him, speeding down the highway with one hand on the wheel, big bright grin lighting up his gorgeous smooth skin. Jean hadn't realised just how nice his skin was until he saw it in real live hi-definition, and now he feels kind of self-conscious about the smattering of little red pimples along his own jaw, a drawback of the testosterone injections he gives himself fortnightly. He hopes Eren doesn't find them gross. 

Eren's hands are beautiful too - long, thick fingers with nails chewed down to the fingertip. His heart skips a beat when he thinks about holding them some more, and _god, Kirschtein, when did you get so fucking gay--_

"Jean, look! You can see my beach up ahead!!" 

Jean glances ahead, and indeed, there it is. The coastline looks less-than-magnificent in the rain, but he can definitely see why Eren likes it so much - the open space and crisp white sand looks so tempting, and he hopes he and Eren can go adventuring in it soon. 

He adjusts his eyes forward a little, trying and failing to stare through the early morning mist that fogs the skyline. He knows that, geographically, his home lies only a couple of hours across the sea in that direction, but when he looks back at the gorgeous, clear-skinned, scruffy boy beside him, he feels more at home than he ever has before. 

\-- 

The central Gold Coast reminds Jean a lot of Auckland, in that it's very big, very busy, and makes him very nervous. As they drive through it, crawling along with the rest of the morning traffic, Jean spies no less than ten girls in nothing but bikinis, and more fish 'n chip shops than even he thought existed ( _"Go on Jean, say "fush and chups", say it!!" "My accent doesn't even work like that, you xenophobic fucknugget!"_ ), and that's before they even get to Eren's beachside suburb of Broadbeach. 

When Eren had first told Jean that he and his family live in an apartment complex, Jean feared that he would be spending his Australian holiday in a bed-sit with his boyfriend's whole family crowded around and judging him. When he sets his eyes upon the façade of the building they stop outside of, his worries are lain completely to rest; the tasteful white sandstone brickwork, delightfully large balconies, and beautiful beachfront views make for a brilliant and probably very costly sight. 

Eren perches his chin on Jean's shoulder, as if admiring the view along with him. 

"None too shabby, hey? Perks of having a doctor for a dad, I guess." He plants a kiss on Jean's cheek, igniting his face with a blush, although his stomach does a flip. Oh yeah. Parents. Eren's parents, who know he's coming but don't yet know how much of an asshole he can be when he's nervous. _Great._ He lifts his eyes to the clouds, still heavy with the promise of more rain, and prays a silent prayer to whatever gods are out there that he doesn't accidentally say something like _"your son and I cybered one time and you probably already know this but he's really hot"_

"C'mon, I'm not carrying all your shit to the elevator!" 

\-- 

The Jaeger apartment is on the 10th floor - or rather, it _is_ the 10th floor. Jean's jaw drops when he steps through the threshold, struggling to take in the sheer size of the main room. Despite the modern furniture, the space had been decorated in a way that betrayed the residence of a family. Pictures of Eren at every age and a beautiful girl Jean could only assume was Mikasa, his sister, covered almost every surface, as well as a few shots of Mr and Mrs Jaeger. None of the photographs were set in a professional studio, rather more candid shots stolen at parties or graduations. Jean decides immediately that he likes it. 

A thud, likely Eren dropping the suitcase he had been carrying, echoes behind him. "My room is just through the hall, first on the right. You can dump your stuff in there for now, babe." 

Jean smirks, opening his mouth to retort to the shitty pet name, but before he can get a word out, Eren is shouting. Loud. 

_"MUUUM!!!"_

"Kitchen!" 

Eren grabs his hand and leads him through to the other side of the house, to a big open-style kitchen. Eren immediately plants his ass on one of the breakfast bar stools, leaving Jean loitering awkwardly in front of the fridge, his boyfriend's mother chopping vegetables less than two meters from him and a whole dictionary of terrible things he _really needs to not say out loud_ running through his head. 

Eren's mother pauses, wipes her brow and turns to him, flashing him a smile that he instantly recognises as very similar to the one his lover always gives him. Her skin is a shade darker than his, and wrinkles are just beginning to form beside her eyes. He smiles back at her straight away, something about her putting him slightly more at ease. 

"You must be Jean, nice to meet you." 

He nods. She has a slight accent, and Jean is reminded suddenly of his own mother. 

"Yeah, that's me. Nice to meet you." 

"Call me Carla. The kiddo here has told me an awful lot about you." She throws a wink over to Eren, who visibly puffs up at the gentle teasing. 

"Hey mum what was that you were saying about people not being allowed to talk to their mother-in-law in Aboriginal culture? What ever happened to that, huh?! I say we bring it back!" 

Jean laughs. "Um, is there anything we can help with maybe?" He gestures to the stack of vegetables and fruit left to be chopped. 

"Lord no! I'm no domestic goddess, but I know how to put on a feed for a visitor. You just go rest up and clear yourself of jet lag." 

"It was only a two hour long flight, mum." 

"Well he's free to stay and chat with me then, if that's what you want, Eren...?" 

_"Muuuuum!"_

\-- 

Eren was quick to get Jean settled in after that. They dumped his stuff in the spare room and then retreated to Eren's bedroom (Jean knew it was messy, but the sheer amount of _junk_ on the floor was _absurd_ ), both of them curling up under his big doona and watching whatever came on tv. 

They had specifically left the first day of Jean's visit free so that they could go to the beach in the afternoon or walk to the shops for dinner, but now that he's actually here, Jean can't help but want to just stay in bed for the rest of the day, especially every time he catches Eren looking at him instead on the television. 

The nervous excitement Eren had so exuberantly displayed earlier is gone now, replaced instead with a drowsy sleepiness and an apparent desire to be cuddled. Jean certainly doesn't complain, and he holds his boy close until it gets dark and Carla calls them for dinner. 

As he takes a seat beside Eren in the living room, plates on their laps, he marvels at exactly how comfortable he feels already. Even with his boyfriend's mum in the room, even being in a different country for the first time in his life, he still can't quite wipe the smile off his face. 

The rain has stopped, and the heat of the night is finally setting in, causing Jean to wish he brought more t-shirts and less of the long sleeves and hoodies he's used to. His heart skips a beat as he chews down on a bite of charred blue pumpkin, imagining stealing a shirt of Eren's. 

His smile fades as the girl from the photographs walks into the room, taking a seat on the lazyboy diagonally across from him. _Holy shit_. Her hair and eyes are a gorgeous ink black, body toned, skin slightly fairer than Eren's but no less beautiful. Clearly his boyfriend wasn't the only Jaeger sibling that looks even better in the flesh. He swallows and leans into Eren's shoulder beside him, whispering a rushed "youdidn'ttellmeyoursisterwashot" into his ear. Eren's sudden sharp gasp and death stare does nothing to deter him as he flashes her a smile and says, "You're Mikasa, right? It's so nice to meet you. I had no idea you were so beautiful." 

Mikasa looks up from her plate, raising an eyebrow vaguely in his direction. 

"I had no idea my brother's boyfriend was so heterosexual." 

Jean makes an offended sound, and Eren chuckles, throwing him a wink. "He's pan, actually. And a huge fucking flirt." 

"And I'm a lesbian. Glad we're all introduced. I'm gonna go eat in my room, okay mum?" 

Carla Jaeger rests her head in her hand. "Get mama some wine first, sweetie." 

\-- 

Despite the fact that Eren's bed was perfectly big and both of them were more than willing to share, Mr and Mrs Jaeger had agreed that it would be best for Jean to sleep on the little single mattress on the floor of the otherwise empty spare room at the end of the house. 

He snuggles deeper into the blanket, trying fruitlessly to find a comfortable position to sleep in on the lumpy mattress. Just as he settles into his new position (one hand extended out behind him, the other under his back), his phone chimes with the message notification from Eren. He sits up and grabs his phone, more than thankful for the distraction. 

Jean needs no further encouragement. He stands up and walks on tip-toe, counting the doors and straining his eyes against the dark until he reaches Eren's room, slipping inside and finding his way to the bed. Miraculously, he doesn't trip over the minefield of junk discarded on the floor. He shuffles his way under the covers of Eren's bed, the yanking feeling in his heart refusing to shut up until he's lying beside his boyfriend. 

Eren presses his body close and slips a leg between Jean's in silent invitation. Jean can hear Eren breathing, breathing, swallowing, opening his mouth to talk, and then breathing again, over and over. He's sure that his heart shouldn't be moving this fast, and he's glad, in a way, for the darkness, so at least they can both pretend they're not blushing like ripe fucking fruit right now. 

His lover's mouth finds his own, and they kiss, messy and inexperienced. Jean has had sex before, back when he was Jessica, and Eren had told him pretty early on in their online relationship that Jean was his first everything. They both have so much to be nervous about, and yet their hands shake only with want as they explore up and down each other's chests, stomachs, asses. 

For a while, they exist nowhere but inside the space underneath Eren's doona, kissing softly and slowly discovering the spots that make each other shiver. When Eren eventually speaks, his voice has very little of the power it normally carries. 

"H-Hey." 

"Yeah, baby?" 

"I missed you." 

"Me too, Eren." 

"Would it be okay if we just kissed and stuff, for tonight?" 

Jean studies the faint outline of what his eyes can pick up of Eren's face in the darkness. 

"'Course." 

"Okay. Sorry." 

"Don't be." 

"I love you, Jean." 

Eren's form shifts so that the side of his face is pressed against Jean's chest. Jean realises, belatedly, that he took off his binder before he went to bed. He didn't even notice until now, and for some reason, he doesn't feel the normal bubbling sickness in his throat when someone touches his natural chest. 

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!! Comments are always appreciated. I feed on them.
> 
> Quick note; Eren is a descendent of the Pitjantjatjara people, who are the traditional custodians of the land around Central Australia, and to the south of Uluru. Although Eren's ancestry will come into this fic about as much as Jean's trans-ness (which is to say, not much at all), I have done some research to prepare for writing his and Carla's characters. Please let me know if I mess anything up, or can improve on anything at all.


	2. Dates and Plums

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It’s been like, four days, you gay son-of-a-bitch," he mutters to himself as he picks up a t-shirt from the floor using his toes, "four days and you’re already pining whenever he’s not around. Shoulda listened to mum and got a cat instead of a boyfriend."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the second instalment of Gay Teens Doing Gay Things in Australia. The Prime Minister won't be happy to hear about this.
> 
> I have [a tumblr](http://nicnevan.tumblr.com)! This fic has [a tumblr tag](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/fic:-on-our-way-to-weightless)! In that tumblr tag will soon be a post of Jean and Eren's first adventure in the marvellous world of ~cybersex~, so watch out for that :O
> 
> Thank you for all the positive feedback on the last chapter, and please enjoy this one!!

Jean had only arrived a few days ago, but already he found that he was quite used to waking up with his boyfriend wrapped around him, drooling on his arm or snoring like a goddamn chainsaw. He pretended to hate it, of course, shoving Eren off and pinching him until he woke up himself, but Jean already knew he was going to miss it once he returned back to New Zealand. 

When he had crept into Eren's bed on Wednesday night, they had kissed, talked, whispered confessions to each other that would seem silly to say aloud in the daytime, and Jean had fallen asleep with the assurance that his partner would still be there when he woke, just like every other morning so far. 

With Thursday morning upon him, Jean opens his eyes, but sees only rumpled bedsheets beside him. Jean doesn't exactly _panic_ , but his heart does skip a beat and his stomach performs this weird skydive down into his bowels, and he has to take a few seconds to breathe and wake up properly before going hunting for his missing boyfriend. 

"It's been like, four days, you gay son-of-a-bitch," he mutters to himself as he picks up a t-shirt from the floor using his toes, "four days and you're already pining whenever he's not around. Shoulda listened to mum and got a cat instead of a boyfriend." 

He sighs at himself, yanks the shirt over his head and lopes through the open bedroom door and out to the kitchen. If Carla noticed him coming out from Eren's room as opposed to the one prepared for him, she doesn't say anything, which Jean is thankful for. Awkward. 

"Mornin' Thing 2!" She greets him cheerily as she potters around the room, drawing up the blinds to let the sunshine and sea views into the dining room. The bright light reflects off the white tiled floors, and Jean has to squint to save his eyesight. 

"G'morning Carla," Jean looks around for Eren, but sees only a handful of dishes and cutlery in the sink, waiting to be washed. "Where's Thing 1?" 

Carla chuckles at the use of the nicknames that she had started using to refer Jean and her son. "Off down to the beach I'd say, judging by the surfboard he lugged out of here a few minutes ago. You should go down and see him, sure he'd love the chance to show off!" 

Jean grins. The weather had been so shitty that going to the beach had seemed pointless up until now, but he was pretty sure that the bright morning sunlight promised a fine day ahead. He gives Carla a quick goodbye, and races back to Eren's room to get changed. Of course, knowing he was visiting the coast, he had brought his own swim trunks, but the idea of continuing the trend of wearing Eren's clothes is so much more enticing. He squirms his way into his binder, discarded on the floor from the night before, and looks around. 

The first beach-appropriate clothes he finds are a thin yellow v-neck shirt and board shorts printed with - of all things - the fucking Australian flag. For a moment Jean actually considers just changing into his own plain black pair of shorts, but in the interest of getting down to the shore as soon as possible, he grits his teeth and puts them on. 

Feeling prepared but somewhat traitorous to his country, Jean makes his way down the elevator and outside into the cool, fresh breeze. The sun is a pleasant burn on his tan skin, and he only has to walk past a couple of buildings before he feels smatterings of sand on the footpath between his bare toes. Making his way through the thin strip of park separating the road and the beach, he scans the horizon for surfers, of which he discovers there are quite a few. 

However, upon reaching the crest of the large sand dune on the edge of the beach, only _one_ of the surfers waves his arms in surprise from atop his board before tumbling into the water below. Jean snorts with laughter. Found him. 

Once Eren is upright again and wading towards the shore, Jean jogs out to meet him. The sand is wet and pleasantly cool, and he squishes his feet down until he's rooted into the earth by his ankles. 

Eren drops his board and hugs him with all the force of someone high on the adrenaline of exercise, almost knocking them both over. He's wet and shirtless, hair clumping together in salty little locks, and for the second time today Jean's heart does a flip. 

"You made it!" Eren's beaming, and clearly trying not to pant for breath too hard. It's fucking endearing, but Jean can't help but give him a hard time anyway. 

"Y'know, I distinctly remember you telling me you were gonna take me on a _date_ to the beach one day, but this feels heaps more like 'running around searching for your missing boyfriend only to find that he's cheating on you with a fucking surfboard.'" Jean tries to pull a sour face, but he can't quite manage it for smiling. 

Eren rolls his eyes and tightens his grip around Jean's waist. "Would I do _this_ to my board?" 

Jean quirks an eyebrow but then Eren leaning up and kissing him, _deep_ , in front of dozens of other early-morning beach patrons, and he really hates to be _that guy_ , but there's something about the public display of affection that has him pressing his thighs together and moaning very softly into his boyfriend's mouth. He tastes like seawater, and Jean doesn't think he's ever felt so gay before. 

When Eren pulls back, he's breathing harder still, and his lips are shiny with spit. Jean doesn't even want to imagine how wrecked he looks himself. 

"H-hey, buddy, what you and your surfboard do in your own time is none of my business..." 

Eren smirks. "You're talkin' big game for a Kiwi boy in Aussie boardies." 

_Shit._ He'd forgotten about those. Jean glances at his boyfriend before sprinting into the waves, wading through the water until it laps at his bellybutton, shorts hidden beneath the brine. He shouts towards the shore, "What boardies?" and Eren takes a moment to drag his surfboard to the dry sand before racing out to join him, jumping over the waves like only a kid raised by the seaside could do. 

Once beside him, Eren sticks close to his side, running his lips over Jean's neck and two fingers along the seam of his binder. 

"Should you be swimming in this?" 

His big green eyes look worried, bushy eyebrows furrowed adorably. Jean smiles, wrapping both arms around his boyfriend affectionately. 

"Yeah, I'm fine, I've got it on loose and I'm not planning on doing laps or anything." He presses a wet smooch to Eren's forehead, in appreciation of his concern. 

"Okay, well, I'm taking that as an admission of consent." 

Jean looks down at him, confused. "Whaddaya mean?" 

Eren replies by shoving him backwards, causing Jean to lose his balance and fall back into the cold, salty water. He yells, but too late, and the sound is drowned out by the ocean. He didn't notice how fucking freezing it was until now. The sound of Eren laughing hysterically grows louder as he fumbles to right himself again, and when he breaks the surface looking like a drowned cat the giggles begin all over again. 

"H-holy _shit_ , I'm so fucking glad I did that!!" 

Jean glares daggers, and makes to push Eren in revenge, but the cold in his muscles slows his movements and Eren blocks him with ease, grabbing his forearm with one hand and bracing the other palm on his chest. Despite the fact that Jean feels incredibly bitter about it, and has a burning need to get Eren back _somehow_ , he still lets Eren draw closer to him and kiss him again. 

Their bodies press together, Eren still holding him by the wrist, and the familiar burn Jean has begun to associate with kissing the darker boy sparks in his groin. He brings his hips forward, slow and deliberate, grinding himself against Eren, which brings a gorgeous, high-pitched whine from his boyfriend's lips before he fumbles to disentangle their bodies. 

Maybe he's imagining it, but Jean thinks he can see a trace of a blush under Eren's brown skin. Revenge is sweet. 

After that, Jean makes his way back to the shore to dry off. He sits on a log near the kid's play area and watches as Eren _surfs, falls, surfs, falls_ until the sun is high in the sky and burns a little too hot for his liking. 

Eren obviously has the same idea, as he emerges from the water a few minutes later, holding the board under his arm and shaking droplets from his shaggy hair. 

"You wanna head home babe?" 

Jean nods, standing up and brushing the sand off his ass before grabbing Eren's free hand and heading back in the direction of the apartment. 

"So, how did you enjoy your first ever beach experience?" 

"We have beaches in New Zealand, Eren." 

"Yeah, but they suck." 

"How the hell would you know?!" 

"Everything from New Zealand sucks." 

Jean opens his mouth to yell a retort, but thinks better of it. Instead, he leans over, grazing his lips over the shell of Eren's ear. "Only if you say please..." he whispers, before darting up the stairs to Eren's apartment complex lobby, leaving the Aussie boy blushing and stuttering for the second time in one morning. 

\-- 

Showered, dressed in singlets and sitting on the cold kitchen tiles to stave off the afternoon heat, Eren uses a butterknife to cut open a small, strange-looking fruit and hand a segment to Jean. It looks squishy, and is black-purple like a bruise and soft in between his fingers, but his boyfriend's earnest expression betrays no hint of malice or trickery, so Jean takes a small bite. 

It's sweet, like a fig, but has an unique sort of tartness about it too. Jean smiles as he chews, relieving the worried look in his boyfriend's eyes. He swallows. 

"What's it called again?" 

"They're Burdekin plums. My Aunties make jam with them all the time." He sniffs, and rubs his nose with the side of his hand. "They're indigenous to Australia. The fruit, I mean. And my Aunties, I guess." 

Jean nods, finishing the remaining piece of the plum off in one bite. 

"So um, you like it?" Eren shuffles closer to him and extends a leg so that their bare feet touch. Jean regards him with a fond smile. He has no idea why he's so insecure, honestly. Jean's own Maori culture has plenty of indigenous food back home too, and yeah, Jean's an asshole, but he wouldn't tease Eren about something like that even if he hated the taste of the little squishy plum. 

"It's really good." He reaches for another, testing it for appropriate squishiness before biting into it whole this time. Juice dribbles in a little red stream down his chin, and Eren giggles happily. 

"So there are things in Australia that you can't get anywhere else, admit it!" 

Jean can't remember saying that that _wasn't_ the case, but for the sake of keeping the disastrously cute boy beside him happy, he holds his hands up in defeat and nods yes. 

His compliance is rewarded when Eren shifts so close to him that he's practically in his lap. Jean kisses the sweet, salty skin of his neck, and Eren's warm breath tickles his ear in a way that sends goosebumps down his arms. He wonders if he could get those plums through New Zealand Customs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [The Burdekin plum](http://www.fruitipedia.com/Burdekin%20plum.htm) is native to Australia, Malesia, and the Pacific Islands. It's delicious.
> 
> Also I want you to just imagine Shitty Baby Jean wearing [these ugly things](http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NjAwWDYwMA==/z/0AwAAOxyUI1TJW3C/%24_35.JPG) and being completely grumpy about it. God I hate him.
> 
> As always, comments make me screech, cry, and phone my mum. Chapter three should be up in a week, in the mean time, check the tumblr tag for updates!! Thanks for reading :)


	3. Tampons and Locked Doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He lifts his head and glares toward his uterus. If he'd gotten that hysterectomy for his 18th birthday like he'd asked, this wouldn't have been a problem, and he could be out jogging with Eren right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this is late, heheh!! ;; sorry, Life hapens so much.
> 
> I have a [tumblr](http://nicnevan.tumblr.com/) and this fic has a [tag](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/fic:-on-our-way-to-weightless)!! Did you find the cybersmut I posted in there earlier?? It was pretty fun to write :')
> 
> A couple warnings for this chapter!! One of the main themes is Jean getting his period (since he's a trans man who gets periods and isn't on the pill yet). Nothing is too graphic, but if you're squicked out by that or think it'll cause you some dysphoria of your own, please don't force yourself to read it!!
> 
> On the plus side, this chapter does end with porn. So enjoy that. ;)

Jean had begun packing for his trip to _Australia, Land of Boyfriend_ almost as soon as he had booked the plane tickets. He spent almost the whole fortnight leading up to the trip checking and re-checking that he packed everything he'd need - dental floss, his 3DS, an assortment of snapbacks in various colours - and for the first five days of his vacation he felt confident that he didn't forget a thing.

On the sixth day, as he stares into his toiletries bag, completely devoid of tampons or pads of any kind, Jean decides he kind of wants to punch his past self in the face.

He throws the bag down onto Eren's floor, where most of his stuff seems to live now, and flops down on the bed. He knows he'll have to get up again soon, lest he bleed all over the fucking doona, but he allows himself a good thirty seconds of self-pity and mortification first. Why the fuck would his traitorous fucking body choose _now_ , in the middle of a holiday he's been looking forward to for _weeks_ , to let loose the crimson tide?!

Jean tallies up his options, and comes up with only two - either he freebleeds it, the very thought of which makes him want to gag, or he asks someone else in the house if they have some spare products. He groans a little louder than necessary, and decides there's nothing for it but to approach one of the other two resident vagina-havers in the household and try to get their help. 

Jean figures out pretty quickly that it has to be Mikasa, too. As hot and terrifying as she is, there's nothing quite as balls-shrivellingly humiliating as the thought of asking your mother-in-law for sanitary products. He lifts his head and glares toward his uterus. If he'd gotten that hysterectomy for his 18th birthday like he'd asked, this wouldn't have been a problem, and he could be out jogging with Eren right now.

Said uterus gives a pang of cramping pain in response, causing Jean to whine softly. Okay. No more thinking about exercise. Got it.

Slowly, and with a solid amount of moaning, Jean sits up and trudges (bow-legged, he's still got a spot of blood on the seat of his boxers) to Mikasa's bedroom, knocking gently on the doorframe. She turns her head from where she sits on her bed, and regards him with possibly the most forced half-smile he's ever seen. 

"What do you want?"

Jean sucks in a breath. Cold. Yet somehow still so hot.

"Hey, um, can I ask you for a huge favour? And no, before you ask, this isn't another pick-up line. And also I'm sorry for that. Again." 

The smile she gives him this time is more genuine, and she uncrosses her legs and nods him over, in what Jean hopes is an invitation to come in. He takes it with a due amount of caution. 

Jean realises that is the first time he's seen Mikasa's room, and it's as suited to her personality as one could possibly imagine. A polar opposite to Eren's, her carpet is clear of debris and freshly vacuumed, and her walls are lined with bookcases filled with a strange assortment of things - Jean spies instructional martial arts dvds, a motorcycle helmet, and a rather endearing collection of elegant horse figurines as he glances around the room.

Mikasa shifts slightly, possibly to make room for him to perch on the edge of the bed, but he stays standing. If she ends up laughing at him or being weirded out, he needs to be able to make a speedy getaway.

The dark-haired girl raises an eyebrow at him, and it's then that Jean realises that he's been spacing out and staring at her for a bit too long now. Fuck. He clears his throat, suddenly wishing that he had thought this whole thing through a little better.

"So um, I kinda forgot to pack some stuff, and I was wondering if I could maybe, like, borrow something of yours, maybe? O-or just take it, y'know, I don't think you'd want it back or anything," he wrinkles his nose, half at the mental imagery and half because he _knows_ he doesn't make any sense right now, but he _can't stop his mouth from moving_ , "b-b-but only if you have spares, and also when's the best time to access your washing machine? I'm gonna need to wash away the blood stains but I don't want your mum to come in and think I killed a guy, heheh..."

Jean pauses and swallows, sighing internally. He's a fucking mess. Literally.

Mikasa regards him with that confused look that dogs get when you pretend to eat one of their treats.

"Jean, remind me what we're talking about again?"

He takes a breath. "I need to borrow some tampons."

If Mikasa is surprised by this at all, her face certainly doesn't show it. She shrugs. "Sure."

Jean kind of feels really sick, and not from his period, so he keeps his mouth shut and just watches her lean over to her bedside table to pull out a little white box with blue flowers. She passes it to him without really regarding him at all, and Jean figures that's his queue to leave. He kinda wants to be back in bed right now anyway - between the embarrassment, the cramps, and the fact that he sort of inadvertently outed himself as trans to his boyfriend's sister, he's starting to feel incredibly crappy and gross.

He tucks the little box into the pocket of his pyjama pants and walks towards the doorway, muttering a soft "thanks" as he passes the doorway.

"Wait a second." 

Mikasa's quiet yet level voice makes his stomach drop, but Jean forces himself to wheel around and poke his head into her bedroom again.

She fishes a hand under her pillow, and brings out half of a family block of Cadbury chocolate. In one smooth motion, she tosses it at him, and his brain catches up just in time for him to whip his hands out of his pockets and catch the confection.

"You look like you need it."

Mikasa gives Jean another half-smile, and with that, returns to her book. Jean can't really find the words _thank you_ due to the lump in his throat, so he just nods instead, clasping the block of chocolate in his hands.

 

\--

 

Half an hour later and Jean is thoroughly plugged, nestled under a pile of Eren's blankets, and drifting in and out of a chocolate-induced food coma. 

Although he still feels totally bitter about Aunt Flo coming to town at exactly the _wrong_ time, he finds that he doesn't really feel like crying or hitting something quite as much as he normally does when his period rolls around. He puts it down to Mikasa's kindness, as well as the relaxing, familiar scent of his boyfriend in the blankets - a soft, earthy concoction of sea salt, cut grass, and Sweaty Boy ™. Jean burrows a little deeper in his blanket nest, and takes a deep whiff. He has to commit this scent to memory.

Jean is interrupted from his proceedings by the sound of the front door opening. He half expects Eren's usual holler of _"I'M HOOOME!!"_ or _"MUUUUM!"_ , but instead he hears only the soft tap of dress shoes on the tiles. For a moment, he's at a complete loss as to who would be coming into the apartment at midday wearing _dress shoes_ when he's scarcely seen Eren, Mikasa or Carla wear anything but thongs, until he recalls Eren mentioning something about his dad coming home today, finally back from Central Queensland where he's been working as a doctor for the last six weeks. Jean's momentarily glad that he's been stuck in bed all morning - he'd have _died_ if his first introduction to his boyfriend's father was with him sprawled out on in the lounge room watching _Australia's Next Top Model_.

The footsteps recede to the master bedroom, and after that, Jean is once again alone with the silence of the apartment. The quiet has him falling asleep within minutes, face pressed against Eren's pillow.

 

\--

 

When Jean wakes from his nap, still drowsy and not at all fully conscious, the first thing he notices is a warm, soft presence in bed beside him. He smiles, still not quite opening his eyes. Eren is back, he smells like the sea, and it's _really_ nice to be cuddling him right now.

The second thing he notices is-

_"KAAAME...........HAAAAAME...........HAAA!!!"_

The loud, tinny sound has him practically jumping out of his skin, clinging tight to Eren as his eyes rush open to address whatever that satanic fucking noise was.

Eren laughs loudly beside him, pressing the pause button on what Jean can now see is the laptop sitting on his legs, _not_ a demon monster come to murder him. He glares at the screen, depicting a frame of some anime character shooting a beam of light out of his hands, and then turns to glare with equal intensity at his boyfriend. That gets Eren laughing all over again, and Jean huffs and slumps back down into the nice, warm blankets.

"I got my period, you fuckwad, I need my beauty sleep."

"Shit babe, _soz_ , I tried to keep the volume down but Goku gets kinda loud sometimes.." Eren wipes a tear of mirth from his eye and half-rolls until his nose is pressed into Jean's neck, mouthing tiny smooches on his skin. "You okay though? Need anything?"

"Mmph." Jean cranes his neck down and catches Eren's lips on his own, the two of them kissing lazily for a long moment. Honestly, Jean feels like he's talked and thought enough about periods for one day, and he's quite happy to just zone out for a while. "I'm fine. Just.. cuddles, yeah?"

Eren pulls away just enough to speak, their foreheads still touching and their breath mingled together. "As you wish." He smiles that adorable, goofy smile that never fails to turn Jean's insides to fucking butter, and Jean can't help but feel incredibly lucky.

He settles himself into a more comfortable position, one arm flopped over Eren's bare stomach, head resting gently on his shoulder. Eren returns his own arm to its rightful place, curled around Jean's back, hand rubbing soothing circles on his hip bone, and presses the play button on his laptop again. The sound of the anime is less jarring now, though still loud and brutal and weird in a way that Jean really can't follow. 

Still, he manages to watch a solid half an episode before he gets bored and his hands start to wander - first, carding through Eren's sandy hair and scratching his scalp, relishing in the blissful little smile his boyfriend gets whenever he receives affectionate touches. 

Whether consciously or not, Jean can't rightly tell, Eren's fingers start to move over Jean's hip during the opening credits of the next episode, the jazzy theme song doing very little to distract him from the delightful sensation of calloused fingers dipping just beneath the waistband of his boxers in smooth little circles. Jean blames it entirely on the hormones, but he soon ends up wishing _extra super hard_ that the Red Sea would part for like, an hour or something, even though he knows it's hopeless. He scowls. They haven't even done anything more than make out yet, and by the time they'll be able to go further it will be almost time for Jean to go home again. Not for the first time, Jean envies Eren's natural lack of uterus. He has no idea how good he's got it.

Eren's short nails bring him back to reality as they dig into Jean's skin at just the right pressure, and his hips stutter involuntarily. A tiny whine escapes his lips, or maybe it was Eren's, or maybe both, and soon they're kissing hard, anime thoroughly forgotten as they press their bodies together and nip at each other's lips.

The spell is broken when Eren makes the uncharacteristically bold move of slipping his hand between Jean's legs, rubbing softly in a way that feels _so good_ but Jean knows is _bad fucking news_.

"A-ah, okay, okay no stop, stop, it's time to stop..." Jean breaks away, gently shoving Eren's hand away and ignoring his kicked-puppy expression.

"Period, remember?" He points down toward his crotch for emphasis, "That shit's fucking messy, dude, you don't wanna be anywhere near it." He licks his kiss-swollen lips, heart still beating at a mile a minute. He can barely stand to look at Eren, who looks about as turned on as Jean feels - lips shiny with spit, pupils blown wide so barely a sliver of green can be seen. He looks fucking gorgeous, and Jean hates him for it.

Eren whines, and Jean's heart fucking _burns_ when Eren butts his head into his chest and presses his crotch against Jean's thigh, all hard and shy and embarrassed about it.

"B-but I...I want you, Jean," he exhales softly, "I'm ready for it, I want it _now_.."

Jean has to take a series of deep breaths to assure that he doesn't fucking combust. Eren's hard, he can feel his warm cock pressed against his thigh, and it sets Jean's skin on fire. He knows that Eren doesn't actually have that high of a sex drive, they've talked about it before, but if this is how his boyfriend gets when he _is_ horny, Jean doubts he'll live to see forty. Surely his heart will give out well before then.

He holds Eren's jaw with one hand and kisses him softly, slowly, doing his best to show him that it's okay, that Jean isn't actually mad or upset at him for anything. And then, regretfully, Jean gets out of bed.

He deliberately doesn't look at Eren's face, since he fucking knows it'll be the most brutally tragic expression he's ever seen, and instead busies himself with Eren's doorknob.

"How the fuck do you lock your door, dude?"

Jean can practically _hear_ the cogs turning in Eren's brain.

"Um, I l-lost the key, you sorta just have to lean the surfboard on the door and uh, hope for the best."

Jean shoots him A Look, but does as he's instructed. Better than nothing if Carla - or Eren's _dad_ \- comes knocking.

With that, Jean moves carefully back over to the bed, and climbs so he's sitting almost at the foot of it, between Eren's knees. His poor boyfriend looks just as fucking confused as before, and as much as Jean normally hates unnecessary talking during intimacy, he decides to spare his lover any more stress and announce things in a way Eren can understand.

He brings forward a hand and rubs it gently over Eren's half-hard dick, over his pyjama pants.

"I'm gonna suck your dick now, is that okay?" Jean spares his boyfriend a small smile. He's never really felt like he'd be good at leading during sex, but he has sucked cock before, and he knows he's good at _that_. He just hopes Eren is into it.

Eren gasps softly and nods with enthusiasm, so Jean makes short work of sliding down his pants and boxers, revealing his incredibly pretty dick.

They've swapped picture before, sure, but it's so much better now that he's able to properly see it - hard, dark, the tip flushed dark pink, a slight curve to it that Jean _knows_ would feel _so fucking good_ to ride. He licks his lips and leans down, glancing up at Eren once he's so close to it that the tip of his nose brushes against the side of his dick.

Eren looks like he's having heart palpitations but he nods, shifting his hips in encouragement. Jean licks softly at the tip, moaning near-silently at the lovely, salty taste of him. Half of him wants to revel in Eren's reaction, the soft "oh" that passes his lips, but he can't bear to tear himself away from the job at hand. Or mouth, as it where.

Jean wraps his hand around the base and lowers his mouth over Eren's cock slowly, swirling his tongue around the head at first to collect the bead of pre already forming there, and then dipping down further to take more of him into his mouth. Eren, for his part, manages not to buck his hips, which Jean is grateful for. He considers himself a master of the oral arts, sure, but it's been a while since he's had a dick in his mouth, let alone one that belongs to someone so special to him. He wants to make it good for them both.

"O-oh, shit, fuck, Jean- that feels really n-nice, keep going..."

By the sound of things, he's doing a pretty good job already.

After taking a moment to get acclimatised, Jean hollows his cheeks and begins bobbing his head up and down, setting up a slow, rhythmic pace that has Eren whining like a fucking champ. Jean has to work hard not to smirk, instead focusing on taking Eren's cock deeper, until his nose presses against his dark pubic hair. Eren, proving his inexperience, bucks up into his mouth then, and Jean has to breathe very slowly through his nose for a minute lest he trigger his gag reflex.

"Shit, I'm sorry," Eren reaches down one hand until it finds Jean's hair, and he plays with it for a moment before Jean reaches up his spare arm and intertwines their fingers. Eren seems to get the idea after that, thrusting only in tiny little movements as Jean bobs his head.

It only takes a couple of minutes until Eren warns him that he's close. Jean hazards a look up at his face - a barely-there blush can be seen under his dark skin, his hair resting in a tangled, frizzy mess around him on the pillow. Jean meets his eyes and swallows around his cock, watching as Eren tilts his head back and practically _screams_ , his whole body seizing as he comes hot down Jean's throat. He keeps his mouth on him until Eren relaxes, and then pulls up with a satisfying _pop_.

Jean sits up and smiles at Eren, who is doing his best to hide his face behind a pillow. It's only now that Jean realises how fucking wet he's gotten between his legs, and he squirms a little to try and alleviate the pressure before he shifts to collapse beside his boyfriend again.

"Hey. Don't hide from me, asshole." His voice is kind of rough from taking Eren's come, and he finds that he really fucking likes it. Jean tugs the pillow away from Eren's face, revealing his adorable fucked-out expression, and presses a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"Holy shit." Eren whispers.

Jean chuckles, butting the crown of his head into Eren's chest as he fights down giggles.

"Holy _shit_!"

"Yeah, baby, I know!" Jean nips at Eren's collarbone playfully, "And there's more where that came from. Any time you want it."

Eren hums softly, and reaches over him to pull the doona back up over them both. He snuggles down until they're at eye level and wraps his arms around Jean, and Jean is so fucking in love with how cuddly his boyfriend gets after sex, wow, why hadn't they done that sooner?

"Thank you," Eren whispers, "I love you."

Jean's heart skips a beat, and he presses a soft kiss to his lover's forehead before speaking.

"Don't make it gay, babe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked reading it, because I had a fun time writing it!! It's a tad longer than the other chapters, whoopsie... ;; ;
> 
> Comments are always so incredibly appreciated, and will make me melt. Literally. I only just re-solidified myself from after seeing the lovely comments on last week's chapter. It's pretty gross.


	4. Lipgloss and More Locked Doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He decides that this is what it must feel like to be home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again possums!! Firstly, my /god/, I am so sorry about the fucking gigapause we had between the last chapter and this one. Life happens so much, unfortunately.
> 
> We're back on course, though, and this chapter is a super big and super special one!! It's, like, 5k words on its own, which is almost the whole length of the rest of the fic so far. I should take a month off from fic writing more often! :')
> 
> Quick notes - there is sex in this chapter. It does involve Jean, who as we all know is a trans man, and there are some brief internal monologues from him that touch on dysphoria. Nothing big, honestly, I just know I have a lot of fellow transgender readers, and I don't want to upset you guys by not warning you about it first, is all. Basically it's just brief mentions about his past dysphoria, so no sadstuck, I promise!! :>
> 
> Also, I couldn't help myself, I wrote Armin a trans girl in this fic. Her name is Aru, I actually talk a fair bit about her [on my blog!!](http://nicnevan.tumblr.com/tagged/aru)
> 
> Hopefully this chapter is worth the lateness!! Please enjoy. :)

 

"We're going clubbing tonight." 

Jean pauses the X-Box and turns to the doorway where Mikasa stands, her face covered in a gooey green face mask. She looks kinda scary like that, and Jean finds himself nodding despite himself when she makes eye contact with him, even though even the _idea_ of clubbing with strangers makes his anxiety flare up.

Eren, on the other hand, isn't quite as easily convinced. "It's a Wednesday, Mika. No one with any sense leaves the house on a Wednesday."

"They're having a Hump Day discount night at Platinum. Everyone's coming."

Eren groans, and punts his X-Box controller in the direction of the doorway. Mikasa catches it without even looking. Jean nods at double-speed.

"It's fine Eren, let's just go. You promised to show me the sights, didn't you? Clubs are a sight, right?"

The darker boy mumbles out a "My dick is a sight", and Jean elbows him in the rib before turning back to Mikasa.

"When should we get ready?"

"We're meeting up with the group at seven. Wear something nice." She squints in Eren's direction, "That means you too."

"My _dick's_ somethin' nice."

The controller makes a satisfying _crack_ as it hits Eren in the side of the head.

\--

Jean has no idea what is considered adequate clubbing clothes, but he's pretty sure that his _"Beached Az, Bro"_ shirt probably doesn't qualify, even if it is the only clean article of clothing he has left. He bites his lip and wades through the dirty clothes littering the floor of Eren's bedroom, and opens the doors to his boyfriend's wardrobe.

Eren actually has a decent amount of cute clothes, for a guy that typically works on a rotation of wearing a singlet one day and going shirtless the next. Jean picks out a crisp grey dress shirt and holds it up against himself, frowning at the too-long sleeves. Fuck it. He'll roll them up to the elbows and call it a fashion statement.

Jean finds that he's loathe to put on his binder after spending the last few days holed up in Eren's room playing GTA together. Sure, looking down and seeing the silhouette of boobs under one of Eren's loose t-shirts is less than ideal, but the important bit is that he's comfortable enough in his boyfriend's presence that it's not a big deal, when it's just the two of them.

It also doesn't hurt that Eren has a bit of a _Thing_ for his chest, if the not-so-subtle ogles and gentle gropes when they make out are any indicator. It's cute, the way he mouths at the sensitive tissue so earnestly and excitedly when Jean lets him.  
Jean takes a deep breath and tries to re-focus, but it's so hard when he's as sexually frustrated as he's been for the past few days. Between his _period drama_ earlier in the week, and the lack of privacy in the household now that Eren's father is home too, they haven't found time for even another BJ, let alone full sex. Tonight would have been a perfect opportunity, but Mikasa has clearly had enough of them using up all the internet in the house. And anyway, how can Jean argue with a face so pretty and so, _so_ capable of kicking his ass?

He's interrupted from his thoughts when Eren shoves the bedroom door open, hair still dripping from the shower.

"Jeez, do they not have clothes in New Zealand? That's like the tenth thing you've stolen from me this week!" Eren grins, unwrapping the bath towel from his waist and flicking it at Jean's thigh. Jean barely dodges in time, and flips him the middle finger before adjusting his binder and removing the button-down shirt from its hanger.

"Don't worry bro, I know you're just pissed because I look hotter in your shirts than you do."

Eren shrugs, smirking. "I think you look hottest in no shirt at all, actually, but-"

He's interrupted by a sharp knock at the door, and Mikasa's muffled voice from the other side. "Are you two ready yet?"

"Almost!" Eren shouts back, before pulling open a drawer and fishing out a pair of navy blue skinny jeans, and a black top that Jean notices has a whole bunch of decorative rips in it. Jean watches with interest as Eren pulls it over his head; the rips are all in the back of the shirt, in the shape of what Jean can only assume is a stylised pair of wings. It's a far cry from what Jean would consider Eren's normal wardrobe choices, but he kind of loves the way it looks on him. It shows off the tight muscles of his back perfectly, and cuts off an inch above where his jeans sit, leaving him with a lovely glimpse of his lower back.

Jean pulls on a pair of black jeans slowly, still distracted by the fascinating process of his boyfriend getting ready. 

To his surprise, Eren pulls out a tube of peach coloured lip gloss from his underwear drawer, and applies it carefully in the mirror. Jean has to blink a few times to process that, because _what the fuck_ , this is _Eren_ , Eren who plays NRL and surfs and doesn't wash his clothes for two weeks - how can that be the same boy who pouts at himself in the mirror while glossing his lips?!

Eren's eyes catch his own in the reflection of the mirror, and his pleased expression falters a little. He caps the little peach tube, and puts it down.

"What, do you think it's weird?"

Jean furrows his brow. Does he? It's a surprise, sure, but if he thinks about it, Eren's made no secret of his affinity for feminine things in the past. His nails are almost always painted, and he likes to be called pretty and cute and beautiful just as much as Jean likes calling him those things. Is makeup really that much of a stretch? Does it really fucking matter?

Jean decides that it most certainly does not.

He walks toward Eren and runs a hand through his hair, drawing him close. He does look really pretty, the loose neckline of the shirt showing off his fantastic collar bones, and the cute glittery lip gloss makes Jean really want to kiss him.

Eren bridges the distance between them first, though, and it's all Jean can do not to groan at the sweet, fruity taste on his lover's lips. When he pulls back, Jean notices that the gloss is slightly smudged, and he grins when he realises it's probably transferred onto his own lips.

"You look gorgeous, babe."

Eren grins, and leans in to kiss him again, a slow, warm kiss that has Jean weak at the knees.

Mikasa, of course, chooses this moment to force open Eren's door, a grimace plastered firmly on her face.

"I'm too aromantic for this."

\--

Mikasa ends up looking better than both of them, in a black tailored dress pants with a cute three quarter-sleeve blazer to match. Jean tells her this on the taxi ride from the apartment to the nightclub, and she just nods and quirks an eyebrow like he just said the most obvious thing in the world.

He's actually kind of nervous, if he's honest with himself. This is his first time meeting any of Eren's friends, and he's really not sure if he's going to live up to the hype - Eren admitted on multiple occasions leading up to his arrival that he had bragged about Jean to his friends, and that they were all eager to meet the man behind the legend.

He must look anxious, or constipated or something, because Eren grabs his hand and squeezes it reassuringly. He rests his head on Eren's shoulder in silent thanks, which earns a disgusted snort from Mikasa.

When the taxi pulls up to the curb outside the club, Jean realises that the image of the building in his head was _much_ smaller. The club's front wall is massive, and he can hear the beat of the music thumping from inside as soon as he steps out of the car.

Jean barely renders the sound of excited screaming until the source of the sound is right in his face. A cute girl in a tight dress is jumping up and down in front of him, hands reaching out towards him like he's a lollypop being held over the head of a child.

" _EREN!_ This is him, right?! This is Jean? Ooohh my gosh, he's _so CUTE_!" She meets his eyes, "Is it alright if I hug you?"

Jean barely has time to stutter out a tentative yes before she's all over him, cuddling him and jumping up and down again. After a moment she pulls back, seemingly bashful about her excitement.

"Sorry, I'm Sasha. We've heard so much good stuff about you, it's so great to finally meet you!!" She shakes his hand enthusiastically, which makes Jean grin. Eren throws him a sympathetic glance, but he shakes his head. She's honestly adorable. If all of Eren's friends are like this, he supposes he'll be just fine.

A short guy with buzzed hair pops out from behind her, a pair of cheap plastic shutter shades partially covering his eyes. He points at Jean like he's just committed a fucking murder, and for a second Jean panics that this is just some random drunk guy looking to pick a fight.

" _SHEEP SHAGGERRR!!!_ " The man shouts, loud enough for a couple of people walking past to stare. Jean notices Mikasa roll her eyes and move away to sit down on a nearby bench.

Jean smiles awkwardly at the guy. Yeah, that joke sure was funny the first time.

Nonetheless, he allows himself to be enveloped in a sloppy hug, before Sasha pulls him back, giggling.

"Let's go b-back inside, I'm gonna buy the Kiwi a drink!" The bald man shouts, pointing at him again.

"Dude, the only drink you're gonna be touching for the next hour is water," Sasha says, as she beckons Eren and Jean towards the entrance, "But yeah, let's go, it's freaking freezing out here!"

The club is even more incredible and terrifying once they get inside, and Jean clasps Eren's hand firmly as to not get lost in the gross mass of sweaty bodies. For a weekday, the place is fucking packed - he'd hate to see it on a Saturday night.

Eren gasps beside him, and suddenly he's being pulled through the crowd towards an unassuming blonde figure sitting on the couches on the other side of the room. Jean doesn't need to be told who this friend is - Eren's raved about her more times than he can remember.

She's adjusting her pastel pink stilettos when they approach her, and when she looks up at them through her long eyelashes, Jean's heart skips a beat. How are all of his boyfriend's friends so fucking _cute_?

"Eren!" She stands up shakily, before wrapping her arms around him and pressing a kiss to his cheek. "You look great tonight!" She squishes Eren's cheeks between her palms, which makes them both laugh. Jean grins. They're even more adorable together than he imagined.

"Aru, this is Jean. Jean, this is my best-friend-slash-platonic-life-partner Aru." Eren looks happy enough to pass as tipsy already, and Jean figures that he's been waiting for the two of them to meet for quite some time.

Jean holds out a hand for her to shake. "Hey, it's really great to meet you."

"Likewise!" She beams up at him, still shorter by a couple of inches despite her dangerously high heels.

Jean had already been briefed on the facts about Aru when he and Eren were first getting close - she loved anything cute, pink or frilly, she studies marine biology at the local University, she lives in a tiny apartment with her Grandfather, she's Karen Burmese, and she's transgender, just like him. She was also Eren's biggest fan and supporter since childhood, and really, Jean needed no further encouragement to decide she was cool.

Eren's descriptions of her had never included the fact that she was an incredibly fun, charismatic dancer, and even Jean, who normally wouldn't dance if he was paid, couldn't help but accept her invitation to come dance with her out on the main club floor.

She grabs Jean's hands and puts them on her hips while she moves them, and giggles at the blush that stains his face afterwards. Eren has less hesitation, pulling her close and twirling her like a pro. He pays just as much attention to Jean, of course, but their dancing has a different sort of mood to it. Jean's fingers find the exposed skin of his hip between his shirt and jeans, and when he scratches his nails there, Eren grinds against him in a way that is borderline pornographic.

Connie, Sasha, Mikasa, and a small, angry-looking blonde girl find the three of them on the dance floor soon enough, and Jean is dehydrated enough to accept whatever weird concoction Sasha brings him over from the bar. The alcohol combined with the _thud thud thud_ of the club music loosens him up a bit more, and he grabs Eren and kisses him deep, spurred on by the hoots and shouts of their friends.

Eventually, they move back over to the velvet lounges to cool off. Jean nabs a prime position on one of the less-sticky armchairs, and he's pleasantly buzzed enough to not even complain when Eren perches on his lap, holding a can of lemonade in his hand and still looking as endearingly glamorous as when they left the house, if a little sweatier.

Jean wraps his arms around Eren's middle and pulls him close, resting his chin on his boyfriend's shoulder. 

"You're not drinking, babe?" It's hard to whisper when the loud music envelops them so completely, but he does his best.

Eren shakes his head. "Nah, s'not really my thing."

Jean nods. He's never known Eren to talk about consuming alcohol, but it somehow doesn't shock him. Eren Jaeger doesn't _need_ alcohol - he's wild enough on his own.

Just as he's deciding that he won't drink any more tonight either, Mikasa approaches them and crouches beside the chair they're sharing.

"Annie wants to leave, do you wanna split a taxi home?"

Eren quirks an eyebrow. "Whenever you say that, Annie just ends up coming all the way home with us and staying the night." Mikasa glares at him, and he recoils, "N-Not that I have any problem with that. Nor would I tell mum about it."

Mikasa nods, and stands up to gather her bag and say her goodbyes, leaving Jean more than slightly confused about this mysterious Annie person to whom he was not formally introduced. He prods Eren in the side, encouraging him to pay attention to him.

"Which one's Annie?"

Eren smirks, and nods his head in the direction of the short, scowling blonde girl loitering by the edge of the group.

"You know how I always say I'm 'mostly gay'? Well, Annie's the reason for the _mostly_ part."

Jean's eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. "Seriously?"

Eren nods. "Yeah, I had a huge crush on her in grade nine. We were in mixed martial arts together. Well actually, she was always way ahead of me, so we never actually _interacted_ but, y'know..."

Jean grins, digging Eren in the ribs. "And now she's banging your sister? That's rough, buddy."

The darker boy wriggles in his lap, turning so that he can more easily press a gentle kiss to the corner of Jean's mouth. "I think I got a pretty decent consolation prize, don't you?"

"If you two start making out again I'll spray you with a water bottle." Mikasa adjusts her blazer and nods towards the front door of the building, "Let's go."

Jean follows Eren around, saying goodbyes to everyone before they leave. He indulges Sasha with another hug, and receives a kiss on both of his cheeks from Aru, as well as an invitation to add her on Facebook, which is echoed by the rest of the group too. Jean blushes from the tip of his ears down to his toes.

By the time they get into the taxi, it's half past midnight. Jean is basically sober, but he certainly doesn't feel tired, which is surprising since social events like that tend to leave him drained and kinda moody after.

He, Eren, Mikasa and Annie make their way into the apartment complex lobby and up the elevator as quietly as possible, and softly bid their goodnights to each other in the hallway of the Jaeger apartment. Mikasa has a small smile on her face that threatens to burst into a grin every time Annie's hand accidentally-on-purpose brushes against hers, and Jean figures that the blonde girl must have something going for her, to win over both the Jaeger siblings at one point in both their lives. 

Jean doesn't bother changing into his usual pyjamas once they're in Eren's room - when his (Eren's) sweaty shirt comes off, his binder, pants and even boxers quickly follow suit, and he sighs happily at the crisp night air prickling on his bare skin.

When Eren sees that he's stripping off, he props his surfboard up against the door, presumably to stop anyone from barging in uninvited. It makes Jean chuckle, because _really_ , if Mikasa wanted to get into his room for any reason at all, she'd find a fucking way.

Eren turns the light off, so there's an amount of tripping over things and bumping into each other in the dark before they both slip into bed and under the covers. There's a sense of calm in the air, a distinctive, comfortable _quiet_ after the ceaseless noise of the nightclub; Jean finds himself almost instinctively snuggling closer to his boyfriend just to listen to the _thud thud thud_ of his heartbeat to fill the silence.

Eren butts his head into the side of Jean's own.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"...Jean?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I'm ready to...y'know. Have sex maybe."

Jean feels his breath catch in his throat. "Is that so?"

Eren shifts beside him. "If that's uh. Something you still wanna do."

Jean furrows his brow, turning slightly so they're facing each other properly. It's dark, but the moonlight illuminates a portion of Eren's face, highlighting what Jean can only interpret as a nervous expression. He reaches out a hand and brings it to Eren's hair, scritching his nails gently over his scalp.

"I won't lie... I really wanna do it with you. But I need to know that _you_ want that, okay? Not just for my benefit, Eren. I'm serious."

He can feel Eren's breathing change to the deeper, more deliberate breaths he takes when he gets determined about something. For a moment Jean wonders when in the last two weeks he learned things like how Eren breathes - his heart suddenly burns at the thought that in only a few days, he won't be able to curl against his boyfriend and let the rise and fall of his chest soothe him any more.

Jean feels a hand slide over his thigh and between his legs, and he almost whimpers at the contact, even though it's not _really_ touching him where he wants it.

"I'm sure. But only because it's you."

Jean can't resist, he _has_ to kiss him. His mouth is still sweet and sticky from the gloss he never bothered to wash off, which he finds strangely erotic. The hand between his thighs moves upwards until it's touching his bare flesh, and Jean hopes Eren doesn't find it weird that he's already naked. 

Eren seems to fumble a little, and Jean realises that this is the first time he's ever touched another person like this. He guides Eren's wrist for him, shows him the motion he uses to get himself off.

"You're okay with me touching you here?" 

Jean rolls his hips slowly over the side of Eren's hand. "I'll tell you if I start feeling weird."

After a few more thrusts, Jean pauses and adjusts so his legs are spread. Again he clasps Eren's hand in the dark, leading it to his hardening dick.

"This is my cock. It's growing, so it's sensitive, but it feels nice if you- _aahn!_ \- y-yeah, like that."

Eren proves himself a fast learner. He rubs at the sensitive nub at just the right speed to make heat pool in Jean's belly, desperate for more. With more than a little regret, Jean pushes his hand away and stretches out to reach the switch for Eren's bedside lamp.

"Huh?"

He turns back to his partner, taking a moment to take in the sight of him - pupils blown wide, hair mussed from the pillow, and with his bare chest exposed.

"I wanna see you."

Eren squirms a little, biting his lip. "Okay."

Jean smirks, and moves slowly until he's straddling Eren's lap. He can feel the warm curve of his erection beneath his boxers, and he grinds himself against it experimentally. It feels amazing, hitting just the right place, and they both let out soft moans at the contact.

"Do you have condoms?"

Eren nods, motioning to the bedside table. Jean briefly considers giving him some smart-ass comment like _are you sure they're not expired_ , but decides against it.

He leans over Eren to fish around in the drawer, and he decides he's pretty sure that Eren's ogling his naked body as he does so. The thought of being admired is kind of weird, considering his official relationship status with his own body is "it's complicated", but it's kind of nice, in a way. He knows Eren loves him. He knows Eren loves his body. There's no reason to stop him from staring.

Jean finds the roll of condoms eventually, and tears one open, holding it gently between his teeth for the time being. He shuffles off Eren to allow him to take his boxers off, which he does, revealing his hard cock. It's no less tantalising the second time.

Jean plucks the condom from his mouth and holds it over the tip of Eren's dick. "Want me to do it?"

Eren nods, looking relieved.

Jean makes a show out of doing everything by the book, pinching the tip and rolling it firmly down to the base, so that Eren knows what to do for next time. Eren shivers at the sensation, and Jean sucks the residual sticky lube off his own fingers.

"You sure you're fine with doing it like this?"

Eren's voice is soft, like he's asking for some sort of secret. Jean nods. If he doesn't think about it too hard, he'll be fine. He's only taken a couple of dicks in his life, but already this instance feels better. In a way, it's like losing his virginity all over again - sure, he's had sex before, but not since back when his partners considered him to be a _her_. The thought that they're both experiencing something new together kinda gives him the warm fuzzies, and he nods again, before resuming his position hovering over Eren's hips.

He realises belatedly that he's probably gonna have to prep himself first. He grimaces at the thought, and regards Eren with a roll of his eyes. "Hold up for a sec." 

Jean slips his fingers between his own legs, fucking himself on two, and then three digits. His eyes closed briefly when his fingers brush up against the sensitive spot inside him, and when he opens them he notices that Eren is touching himself too, rubbing his cock with a rapt expression on his face. They both blush when they notice each other is looking, which makes Jean laugh.

He takes a deep breath and removes his fingers, wrapping them around Eren's shaft to steady him.

"Ready?"

Eren nods, wrapping a warm hand around Jean's hip, fingers resting where the bone protrudes.

Jean lowers his hips and settles himself on Eren, his cock disappearing inside him inch by blissful inch. His chest feels too tight to breathe, and his groin aches when he thinks _this is it_ , he's finally making love with his boyfriend, _it's actually happening_. He'd been fantasising about doing this for months, and now here he is, eyes fixed on his gorgeous, moaning partner as he rides him. 

Jean bites his lip, and adjusts himself a little so that Eren's dick sits more comfortably inside him. "How you doin' down there, babe?"

Eren just nods, and honestly, Jean is so fucking glad he turned that lamp on. He's making the most adorable face, all wide eyes and swollen lips. Jean gives and experimental thrust, grinding his hips in a slow, deliberate rolling motion. Eren looks like he's about to pass out.

"Talk to me, beautiful. How does it feel?"

Eren screws his eyes shut. "R-really fucking good..."

Jean laughs again, and reaches out a hand to feel Eren's cheek. "Are you blushing? I can't tell."

Eren huffs out a giggle, "I'm brown. You can _never_ tell."

Slowly Jean leans down until he's practically lying on top of Eren, supported by one forearm braced against the pillows. He kisses a trail from Eren's jaw to his earlobe, and sucks on it gently, revelling in how it makes Eren's breath stutter. "So are you gonna fuck me now, Eren?"

He scrapes his nails down the exposed jut of Eren's hip gently, just enough to cause the skin to break out in goosebumps. Eren thrusts once, and then again, and they both groan at the amazing friction.

"Like that?"

"Sh-shut up, do it again."

Eren is definitely inexperienced, and it takes him a while to find the perfect angle, but together they set up a rhythm that has them both breaking out in sweat. Between pangs of pleasure, Jean finds that he doesn't feel weird or gross about his junk at all, at least right now. Maybe it would be different if Eren were on top, but here, with Jean largely in control of their thrusts, he feels fucking _incredible_.

Jean fists his hand in Eren's hair, tugging on it gently until he turns his head towards him. Their kisses are hot and dizzying, and the heat of Eren's mouth when Jean thrusts his tongue inside makes him clench around his cock.

It's easy for Jean to tell when Eren's getting close - his moans turn more frantic, and his thrusts become less refined, bucking up into Jean like it's his own fist. Jean doesn't mind. He reaches down between their bodies and fumbles to rub at his own dick, the hot bundle of nerves leaving him shivering with every motion of his fingers.

"I-I'm gonna come, _fuck_ , please, can I come?" Eren's voice sounds strangled and desperate, and Jean has no intention of torturing him on his first go. He presses his lips against Eren's neck, licking softly at the sweat-slick skin, and makes an affirmative _mhm_ sound.

Despite the condom between them, Jean can still feel Eren's come spill out hot and fast inside him. His breath catches for a moment, just soaking in the feeling of Eren losing himself in _his_ body, and the sweet fucking sounds he makes as he comes. One of Eren's arm wraps around Jean, blunt nails scratching at his back, and they hold each other tightly as he comes down from his orgasm.

Regrettably, Jean lifts himself off Eren's cock, wincing slightly at the pain in his thighs and between his legs. He lets himself flop down on the mattress, leg muscles too tired to support him any longer.

He hears Eren shuffling around beside him, most likely disposing of the prophylactic. His boyfriend's shaggy hair tickles his neck, and Jean turns to look at him - his face, always so easily readable, betrays a confused, worried sort of expression. Jean runs his fingers through his hair to soothe him, and pointedly raises an eyebrow.

"You okay?"

Eren's thick brows furrow further.

"Did.. Did you come?"

Jean winces, then shakes his head. "It's not your fault. It's just kinda hard for me to finish sometimes."

Eren looks so fucking dejected it makes Jean wanna cry.

"Oh." He bites his lip, "I just. I dunno, I really wanted to make you feel good too."

Jean exhales, and presses his lips against his boyfriend's forehead.

"You did make me feel good. You _do_ make me feel good."

He hears Eren swallow thickly, the silence an indicator that he's thinking something over his head.

"Could I... maybe just try? To get you off?"

Jean musters some of his remaining energy to give a half-hearted shrug. "If you want, I guess."

Eren smiles, which makes Jean smile in return. In all honesty, he still feels like he _could_ come, if he could be bothered to get himself off. But technically it's still _Eren's Super Special First Time Extravaganza_ , and he wouldn't feel right to deny him at least an attempt.

Within moments, Eren's face is between his legs. His bright emerald eyes glitter from the lamplight, and Jean nods yes at his silent request for permission.

Jean watches as his pretty, full lips brush the tip of his half-hard dick, and already he's starting to feel tingly again. Eren licks at him experimentally, tasting his wetness and running his tongue agonisingly slow over him.

When he wraps his lips properly around the inch of nerve endings that make up his cock, Jean can barely contain a loud, whimpering moan. Both hands fist in his boyfriend's hair, holding his mouth in place while Jean rolls his hips.

It feels like fucking fireworks in his body, and despite the fact that Eren has a full view of all his junk, which would normally squick him out, Jean is completely relaxed.

Eren grasps him around the thigh, spreading his legs a bit further, and leaves sloppy, open-mouthed kisses on his flesh. He feels his orgasm building, spreading like hot pricks of fire throughout his whole body, until his vision goes white and he moans _loud_ , rutting himself against Eren's face like an animal as he comes.

Eren, to his credit, keeps gently kissing and licking at him until he whines from overstimulation, shoving his face away with a palm to his cheek. Exhausted and boneless, he lets Eren kiss him once he's squirmed his way back up to eye level, before wrapping his arms around his warm waist. Eren twists to turn the lamp off, plunging them back into the deep darkness of the witching hour.

"...So was it good?"

Jean grunts. "Fuckin' hell, Eren, _yeah_ , it was good." he bites his lip, voice soft, "Thank you."

He feels the gust of warm air on his neck from Eren's giggle. "Why are you thanking me? You were the one who punched in _my_ V-Card, dude."

Jean snickers, waving one hand in the air in a dismissive gesture. "Someone's gotta do the dirty work, right?"

Eren elbows him playfully, and they both laugh, before settling closer to each other to sleep. Jean barely has the sheet over his legs, but he feels plenty warm. On top of that, he also feels fucking _elated_ , all gooey and gay inside, and he hopes his boyfriend feels the same.

 

The _crack_ of knuckles rapping against Eren's door is so loud and piercing in the silence that Jean swears he jumps a fucking foot in the air.

From the other side of the door comes Mikasa's quiet yet commanding voice. 

"Is it safe for Annie and I to take our headphones off yet?"

Jean literally _feels_ Eren's cheeks heat up in a furious blush. He idly wonders if it's possible to throw up from sheer mortification - the lump in his throat suggests _yes_.

"...I'll take your silence as an affirmative."

Her footsteps retreat, and Jean lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Eren erupts in a fit of quiet nervous giggles behind him, and Jean can't help but join in. They burrow close to each other, both hyper-vigilant of every noise they make, like little kids after bedtime.

Jean replays the events of the night in his head as he dozes - some more than others - and he decides that this is what it must feel like to be home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa is such a fucking self-insert in this fic, ahaha :')
> 
> If you liked this chapter, lemme know about it!! Your comments and compliments mean more to me than those two dollar cheeseburger and chips combo vouchers from mcdonald's, and that's saying something.
> 
> (also Platinum is a real club in Broadbeach but I highly fucking doubt they really do hump day specials)
> 
> Seeya next time!! xxx


	5. Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He inhales the scent of his boy - salt, sand, petrol - and he lets himself cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end! Thank you for accompanying me on this journey, your support really means the world.
> 
> [tumblr.](http://nicnevan.tumblr.com)

Jean had always known he was a selfish guy. Eren knew it too; most of the fights that they had were about the fact that Jean would happily never work or study another day in his life if given the chance, but Eren had to beg and plead just to secure a job interview.

Jean was a lush, and his boyfriend was raised in a community where sacrificing life's little pleasures for hard work was the norm. It was their one difference, and yet, at five a.m. on the final morning of Jean's visit, both of them could agree that they deserved the luxury of a few more minutes of cuddling.

The sun had risen, but it had not yet thawed out the slight chill of the early morning, and Jean is happy to use the brisk weather as an excuse to cling tighter to his partner. Eren is awake, both of them shaken from sleep after Jean's alarm went off, informing them that they had two hours to get to the airport. He hasn't said a word yet, but Jean can tell that he's not sleeping by the off-balance rhythm to his breathing, like with every breath he's half way to saying something, but then chooses not to.

Jean tries to avoid looking him in the eyes, for fear that one of them will start crying. Neither of them need that right now. Instead he just wraps his arms around the warmth of his boyfriend's waist, as if physically attaching himself to Eren will erase the need to go back to New Zealand.

It doesn't work, of course, and all too soon his alarm blares again, reminding them that they now have 1 hour and 50 minutes left.

"What if we just. _Chose_ not to be sad about it." Eren's voice is jarring against the silence of 5 am, yet still somehow so familiar and comforting that Jean finds himself physically leaning into it.

"I don't think that would work, Eren. Probably not healthy either."

A heavy sigh. "Yeah."

Eren sits up and makes a vague attempt at smoothing his bedhair. It doesn't work, and Jean's almost glad for it, since now he has to sit up too and fix it himself. He runs his short nails over Eren's scalp, and the darker boy groans with pleasure, rolling his head forward to allow Jean access to all the best spots to scritch.

Jean leans forward and presses his lips to his boyfriend's, suddenly hyper-aware that this is one of the last opportunities he's gonna get to do that for a while. It's a sad thought - the whole morning is sad, 5 am is a sad time in general - but he can't be too miserable with a gorgeous, sleepy boy's face milimeters from his own.

"Lemme know when you're ready, I'll get the car out." Eren rubs his eyes before standing up and picking up a pair of shorts strewn over his cupboard and shambling his way into them. Jean nods, and then stands up and makes his way into the kitchen.

He is a selfish man, but he is not an impolite one.

Carla isn't awake yet, so he takes a piece of paper and a pen off the breakfast bar and drafts a short note - _"Thank you so much for your hospitality. Your house and family are wonderful and I feel extremely lucky to have met you. -J"_. It's a small, poorly planned gesture, but it wouldn't feel right to leave without letting the woman whom he plans to make his future mother-in-law know how much her kindness means to him.

After he slips the note under the master bedroom's door, he makes his way to Mikasa's room and raps gently on the doorframe. He has no doubts that she'll be awake. Mikasa seems to have surpassed the need for a full night's sleep long ago.

Jean hears the sound of the door being unlocked, and a moment later it opens to reveal the slightly younger Ackerman sibling, hair already brushed and looking immaculate as ever.

"Yes?"

Jean bites his lip. "I'm leaving soon." It feels weird to say the words aloud, like speaking a different language.

Mikasa looks genuinely surprised, like she'd forgotten he wasn't a permanent fixture. "Oh. Yeah."

"Yeah. Guess I just wanted to say thanks for putting up with me, or something."

She smiles at that, raising one hand to her neck and playing with her hair. "You weren't that bad."

Jean chuckles, casting his eyes down as a light blush rises to his cheeks. His eyes catch the hand at her side, clenched in a fist and holding something small, shimmering bronze. Before he can help himself, he points to it. "What's that?"

The dark haired girl raises her eyebrows, but happily unfurls her fist to show him.

"It's just the key to my bedroom door. It doesn't really match the decor, dad thrifted the doorknobs after we moved in. Originally Eren and I didn't have locks on our doors, so he installed them." She shrugs, and returns the key to her fist.

Jean nods, smirking as he remembers how Eren had taken to propping his surfboard against the door in leiu of a proper lock, ever since he lost his own key. He bites his lip. Huh.

"Do you happen to have a spare key at all?"

 

\--

 

The drive to the airport feels far shorter than the drive from it. Jean takes a kind of pleasure in being able to name all the local landmarks they pass on the way - correctly identifying the beach, the strip of nightclubs, the local stores, almost allows him to convince himself he's a local.

When they exit the highway, Eren moves one hand off the wheel and rubs it gently along Jean's thigh. He can't speak for Eren, but it feels to Jean that if he opened his mouth he'd end up starting off on the _goodbyes_ and _I-love-yous_ too early, and they still have forty-five minutes until he has to check in.

They arrive at the air port just ahead of schedule. The car park isn't too busy, and Jean spots a handful of empty spaces that Eren ignores as he weaves the car up and down the rows of parks. Jean stares at him for a minute, attempting to figure out if he's ignoring them on purpose or if his mind is just too pre-occupied to realise. He comes up with no definitive answer.

"What if I don't want you to go?"

Jean purses his lips. The quiver in his fucking big gay voice makes his heart literally burn.

"I can't stay, Eren. I wish I could, but uni starts soon, and I wanna see my mum and friends." Even as he says them, the words sound stale and rehearsed. At this point he's pretty sure the emotional centre in his brain is trying to shut off in an attempt to prevent bursting into tears or throwing up or something.

"You know we'd happily let you stay for heaps longer-"

Jean makes a small sound that sounds like the beginning of a sob, but manages to hold it down. "Eren. Please. Don't tempt me."

The darker boy bites his lip, but remains otherwise silent. He finds a parking spot relatively quickly after that, and they take turns dragging Jean's heavy suitcase up into the airport. As they stand in line for security checks, Eren clasps Jean's hand in his, holding it tight like he's drowning and Jean is a bouey in the middle of the sea.

 

\--

 

_"Flight 104 to Aukland Airport, Auckland, New Zealand, will now begin boarding."_

Beside him, Jean hears Eren suck in a shaky breath. They both stand from the plastic seats in the waiting area. Jean's barely upright when Eren envelops him in a tight, crushing hug, faces buried in each other's necks. He inhales the scent of his boy - salt, sand, petrol - and he lets himself cry.

He sniffles into the shoulder of Eren's shirt, chest rising with anxious, shuddering breaths.

"Gonna miss you so much..." Eren's voice comes muffled, but Jean can tell by the tiny wet patches on his shirt that he's barely crying at all. Jean reaches up a hand and cards it through his hair, soothing them both until their breaths even out to match each other's. They kiss for a moment, slow and mostly chaste, although if there weren't so many people around Jean would happily do much more.

Regretfully, he pulls back a little, and digs into his jeans pocket. His fingers graze the contents and he pulls out the spare key Mikasa graciously gave him earlier, suspended now on a brown leather chord he recycled from a necklace of his own.

"It's stupid, I know. But I didn't wanna leave without giving you something to say thank you. For letting me stay, or whatever." He blushes, averting his eyes down to the ugly patterned carpet. "Maybe how you'll be able to lock your door when you jerk off or something."

Eren giggles wetly, and pries the gift gently from his fingers. "Having you with me has been the best time I've had in ages, you huge fucking loser. I should be thanking _you_." Still, Eren's face is lit up with a smile as he drapes the chord around his neck, fingers coming up to fidget with the key hanging at his sternum.

_"Last call for boarding, flight 104 to Auckland."_

Jean takes his boyfriend's face in his hands, bringing their foreheads close until they touch.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Stay safe."

"I will. If I find out from Mikasa that you spend the next week crying in your room I'm gonna come back and kick your ass."

Another giggle, just like on the first day they met at the airport. Jean takes a breath to keep from crying, and then another one. Repeats it. And again.

"Message me, okay?"

"I always do."

Jean takes a step away, waves, and then walks down the corridor to board the plane. He only allows himself to look back once - Eren's still standing there, eyes closed, as if he doesn't want to see Jean physically leaving. Jean understands the feeling.

 

\--

 

Once settled, the flight is actually pretty comfortable. He pulls down his curtain and curls up in his seat, happy to immerse himself in the movie playing on the little screen in front of him for an hour and a half. His thoughts drift to Eren, and he's pleased to discover that he can still picture his beachy scent without much effort. With a small smile on his lips, he pulls out his phone, opening it up to their messaging app for the first time in two weeks.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end.
> 
> I know this is a short chapter, and do I feel bad for that, considering how long I made you wait for it, but that's just how it turned out. Hopefully the ending does the rest of the story justice.
> 
> If you want more Eren and Jean, fear not!! There's a pretty good chance I'll write more of them in this universe. They're my Kids, after all. I also have an erejearmin one-shot coming up so get keen for that.
> 
> Comments are so very much appreciated, especially considering that this is the final chapter. Every message you guys send me on ao3 or tumblr absolutely makes my day, so please don't be shy about making contact.
> 
> Again, thank you for reading. I hope you had as much fun as I did. 
> 
> <3


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